ENGINEERING meri Jaan!

“Aarre tu bhi engineer.. hahaha.. main bhi.. chal lets go have tuborg and talk about this!”

Once upon EVERY time A said to B, “hey man! I’m an engineer. How about you?” B replied “Oh me too!” Then there was C, who was just passing by, heard their conversation and uttered “Me three”. All of them then looked at each other and burst out!

Oh Yes! This is the most hackneyed scenario these days. Once only a “dream” profession which only a few “Elite” achieved now has become a most plebeian. Choose any field, an engineer would certainly be there! Be it MBA Colleges, Administration, BPOs, Technical Companies (No more a job of those with BSc/MSc degree! I pity you guys), Consultancies, Tax Auditing companies, Banks, Stocks, etc. You name it we are there to haunt!

I think 95% of the fraternity is preparing for CAT! Coaching Institutes like TIME, IMS, Career Launcher, Career Forum, Career Point, MJ Academy, BT, etc are all thriving because of us. All of them have their own “Engineering Batch” and not something like a “Commerce Batch” or an “Arts Batch”. Many of the people who run these “educational centres” are also Engineers who somehow managed to do MBA from IIMs or thereof. There is no escaping from “us”, the Fraternity.

What is shocking is that even Banks are now seeing people from the fraternity! The fraternity over there is hidden from the public’s eye. They are given a tag of a “Probationary Officer”. While this is meant for any Graduate, so as we’re “Graduates”, we pounce even on this piece of meat! Even though we know nothing about this meat. Whether it is Chicken’s or Cow’s or Pig’s! The fraternity practices “Leave no stone untouched!” So we have people from the fraternity even in the banks. Now we are Bankers too!

Most people getting through the tough IAS are again from the fraternity! Many people working in BPOs (Call Centres) are from the fraternity too.

As the fraternity is so widespread, Recession was ought to hit us the most! I’m sure someone from the fraternity must’ve been working with Lehmann Brothers’, who somehow managed to cause their downfall and in turn World Economic Meltdown! We are our own Nemesis!

Are you an Engineer? Well then don't be surprised! We all are!

The fraternity is drastically hit by the Slowdown! Be it Tech, Non-Tech, most of the jobs have got deferred or cancelled. Those who have joined or are joining soon are lucky! And for all those among the fraternity who are “Berozgaar” as of now, whatever the reason maybe, the advice being given by others around them is “Prepare for CAT’09” Well that is what I, one among the fraternity is doing! It’s not at all a bad advice! I say it rocks and it’s sensible too! So this time around the fraternity will go all out for CAT, which is their only ray of hope! So, junior members of the fraternity beware of your “Berozgaar” senior members. We come to KILL THE CAT! I would suggest get a job which will certainly give you the joining and anyways good times lay ahead, which Mr. Barrack Obama also pointed out. Getting any of the PSUs will be quite awesome. Anyways you will have plenty of time to prepare for CAT or other things when you’re in it so no worries. What is even better is the Godly thing called “The Sixth Pay Commission” While people called The Others’ ward off! Well of course not all! But we all know that among the toppers are mostly from the Fraternity. And this time we have no other option but to do just that yet again!

The term “Engineer” is highly romanticised! Ever Since School days, every innocent child is fed with this dream, “Be an Engineer beta!” We among the fraternity like innocent souls make IIT as our dream! Join 2-years coaching for competitive exams. We give exams where around a million people appear (AIEEE). Those who make it through IITJEE, Good for them! Those who just miss that land up in the next best colleges in India like the DCE (I’m 2009 pass-outJ), NITs, etc. I still remember that I was so happy on getting admission into DCE, unknowing of what lies ahead! I thought I’m just realising the Engineering Dream!

The problem with Engineering is that there are way too many engineering colleges in every nook and corner, which is Good as well as Bad! We’re like this exploding nuclear bomb which wouldn’t stop for nothing! So we the fraternity have a technical problem that we have to touch every stone! We cannot leave anything untouched! So The Others’, who simply hate us, have to understand that we can’t help it! We don’t have a choice it’s a compulsion!

Another issue with Engineering is that every other Engineering College has a different Marking Scheme. While my College, DCE had weighted percentage system, the Pune University has just simple percentage, IITs have CGPA, NITs have CGPS, etc. One more thing, those among the fraternity who’ve done their Engineering from any of Southern Indian universities must be having some hell of marks! 80% is the average guy over there! Or maybe below average! And I’m not exaggerating! Studies revealed that their real percentage compared to colleges which give “normal” scores will be P-28.88%, where P is the Percentage marks obtained in Southern Indian Universities. This extra percentage does help them in many ways and obviously proves as a nemesis for other members of the fraternity. They clear the cut-offs everywhere! Consider someone from Timbuktoo University scoring 75% and one from DCE scoring 65%, and let’s say the cut-offs for some company is 70%. Rest is obvious!

Even their applications for MS get noticed because of their academics! Why do you think there is whole lot of south Indian guys in US universities? It’s not just the Engineering colleges in southern India, but a lot more stupid colleges all over! The point is there should be a common grading/rating system so that there is no prejudice of any sort! And a Tinnu from Kolhapur University doesn’t come and tell a Minnu from Tiruchirapalli University that he scored more than her!(Minnu is a female J)

We Engineers have breached every boundary and haven’t let any stone untouched! MS (from Abroad) is again the “in” thing these days among the fraternity. MS is Masters of Science, and not Masters of Engineering! We’ve exploited the 16yrs of Formal education rule applicable to Universities abroad. This rule doesn’t allow B.Sc people to do MS straightaway after Graduating, as BSc is for 3yrs, so in all 12+3=15! However, this rule is changing somewhat but holds true in 8/10cases! MS is not a bad option, in fact a very good one! But I have my doubts during this time of Slowdown when India & China are the places to be! Here I would like to admit that I too had a plan of pursuing MS, but things didn’t fall into place then so dropped the idea for good!

People, not belonging to the fraternity, ask me which branch do I come from. I do reply back, but I know very well that the branch doesn’t really matter that much! Be it Computers, Electronics, Mechanical, Whatever etc, most would get a Software job, if not then a consultancy, only a few join Core companies, rest pursue their MBA dream! So it doesn’t really matter! At the end of the day everyone out there would like to be a Manager after some point of time. Even those “Techies” become one soon after.

A special mention over here goes to the sect among the fraternity called the Electronics & Communication Engineers. Well at my time of admission, this was the most sought after branch! They used to tell me, “If you take this you can go anywhere you want! You can go into Software or Hardware.” Well let me tell you that none will happen for a normal student! You can never excel to reach the level needed by the handful of companies of Hardware! Even if you reach that level it is so intriguing that you would commit suicide! As of Software, well we know a little but not enough! So we’re nowhere in the end!

An Electronics Engineer once said “I know C, but I can’t C (see) myself in a software company. I know nothing about BJTs, JFETs, MOSFETs, nor anything about communication, I barely pass that one! What is left is.....“