It's part of the New Year ritual – an annual attempt to start afresh and turn over a new leaf. But making resolutions is a near pointless exercise.
"New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual." ~Mark Twain
On January 2nd, every year, millions of people begin the annual ritual of New Year's Resolutions. Memberships at health clubs and diet programs soar in the following weeks. Sales of Chocolates, alcohol, cigarettes are at their lowest in January.
"Time for a new beginning?"
Despite all the ballyhoo, by February, almost everybody gives up on their “New Year’s Resolutions”. They remain no more than a dim memory. So, the pertinent question here is not “Why not make New Year’s Resolutions?”, but “Why NOT make New Year’s resolutions?” I’d say, just to avoid the overwhelming guilt feeling which comes once you start “not keeping” them, as if you didn’t feel guilty enough!
New Year’s resolutions are far easier to make than they are to keep. “Guilt” is a cardinal when it comes to New Year’s resolutions. One makes these resolutions to overcome the guilt of past failures! Whether being out of shape or out of touch, or out of luck, it’s all got to do with guilt. What is even more interesting is that guilt is the root cause to the failure of one’s resolutions. The guilt of impending failure, the guilt of not being up to it. And too much guilt is never good!
To thwart any further guilt on one’s conscience, I’ve come up with an ingenuous gray idea, which is in between “make” and “not make”. Why not make resolutions which you’re certain that you could accomplish. J Like eating Chicken atleast once a week, every week! J That way you could stay cheerful knowing that you’re living up to your resolutions and perhaps even happier because you’re having “awesome” chicken. And top that staying healthy! Aaah peace of mind!
"A dog's every New Year's Resolution: I will not chase that stick unless I actually see it leave his hand!”
And we all know that it never lives up to it!
There is a great deal in this world to distress upon with, I believe we could do away with atleast one of them! My point here is, make resolutions, but only those you’re sure to keep! Avoid yourself with all the guilt which would come with not keeping New Year’s resolutions! A little extract from the result of a research, is sure of offering a fresh perspective
“Recent research shows that while 52% of participants in a resolution study were confident of success with their goals, only 12% actually achieved their goals”
So trust me on this! Unless you’re Chuck Norris, which I’m sure you’re not, (because it is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father and the most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself) make these gray resolutions! For staying happier rather than repenting on why you broke your resolution.
These “gray” resolutions are by far, easier to live upto. And thus making you merrier! What is even better is that these maybe a little funny, so enabling you to start your New Year with a atleast a laugh! What’s better than that? These gray ones can be funny, random and innovative at the same time! Far better than those dull, hard to keep ones! It can vary from chewing your toothbrush while brushing your teeth (now don’t tell me you’ve never done that or don’t like it) to spotting a UFO or Sasquatch in your locality, and telling only your best friends about it! Now won’t that make you happy?
Just to persuade all of you, here are a few “gray” resolutions you might want to keep:
> Procrastinate more
> Cut/grow your hair
> Atleast have one meal at a new restaurant, if not weekly then monthly. And top that by having a new dish everytime.
> Not tell the same story to every other person at a party(Women).
> Chew more Orbit!
> Text from your “un” deft hand.
> Take neither the author of this crap nor any of the above seriously!
